At first glance at the topic this week I immediately thought to myself, "Perils? How can giving and receiving be a peril?" Then after not much thought I soon realized that "Peril" is the perfect word for it?
Peril of Giving #1: Buying gifts for Dale (stepfather), Kent (father-in-law), and Dallin (hubby)
For the life of me I never know what to get these three men in my life. I dread it when Christmas, birthdays, and Father's Day roll around every year for the very reason that I don't know what to get them. With Dale he always says we can get him a gift certificate to Lowe's or Home Depot, but then I heard once from someone that gift certificates are not personable gifts. But again, he is a guy, and a guy on top of it that likes to work with his hands so maybe this gift is the perfect gift for him. I mean do you honestly think that a man when he receives a gift card to somewhere that he loves to shop would think, "How impersonable! I can't believe she got me that!"
With Kent it seems that he pretty much has everything that he needs/wants, and if there is something he wants he just goes out and buys it, so, what to do?
Dallin just wants things that I don't know anything about, and if I tried to buy him something that I know he wants I wouldn't know what kind, what color, what style, if it's good quality, am I getting ripped off. So, he pretty much buys his own presents and tells me, "This is my Christmas." I cannot surprise the man.
Peril of Giving #2 My problem
I am not a very good Christian I confess. Not always, but a lot of the time...okay I'm going to be brutally honest here....I'm letting you all know my hypocrisy here...my skeleton in the closet is...I don't like giving service...SOMETIMES! I drag my feet about it and then I have tremendous guilt and I think that I am going to go to hell for this. I know, I know I am a very selfish person. I love giving service to people that I truly love. I guess I have not developed the godlike quality of "charity." I would do anything for somebody I truly love. I would help my sister bury a body in her backyard if she needed me to. This is something that I pray will change in my life. I pray for charity for all my fellowmen.
Peril of Giving #3 Gift exchanges
I really don't like gift exchanges. I dreaded the sign up sheet that traveled around the clinic at work at Christmas time. I always signed up though because it was very antisocial and rude if you didn't sign up and I just didn't want to answer to everyone about it. I hate it because I don't know what to buy this person that I barely know and I don't want to spend money on this person that I barely know.
Peril of Receiving #1 Complimenting
There are a couple instances that I can think of where I complimented someone on something and then they wanted me to have it and I'm thinking, "No! I didn't say that because I wanted it! I like it in your house! I don't want it in mine!" or "I like it on your wrist! I don't want it on mine!" One example is my grandpa. I noticed one day that he had a brand new flannel shirt. I told him, "Grandpa! That shirt looks really nice on you!" Then the man proceeds to unbutton his shirt and give it to me. I didn't mean that I wanted it, but that just shows the kind of man my Grandpa was. I think I finally gave it away because I never wore it and now that he is gone I am really sad about that.
Peril of Receiving #2 Feeling awkward
I am the type of person that I feel guilty, awkward, I guess humble? when somebody gives service to me. I feel like I don't need it, that I am self sufficient, that I am just fine. Whenever I have kids I feel guilty if people bring me dinner. I think, "We are doing just fine. I can make dinner." Just like I am not a good giver, I am not a very good receiver either.
Peril of Receiving #3 Pictures from Claire
Claire has reached the age...awhile ago...where she likes to draw pictures and give them to me. I love receiving these pictures but I cannot keep all of them. It is just not realistic. I always feel bad though when I toss one of those pictures in the garbage. One day she saw one of those pictures in the garbage and she asked me, "Hey! What is that doing the garbage?" I actually looked in those concerned hazel eyes and lied. I said, "I don't know. I didn't put it there." Then I promptly removed it and hung it back up on the fridge.
Peril of Receiving #4 Gifts I don't want
Living in a small town, I always feel bad about giving things to Rags and Wags that I don't want anymore that people have given me. I am always afraid that they will see it in there. One thing in particular I don't feel bad about. When we had Claire there was somebody that offered us a used changing table. I told them that I didn't need one because I was going to use the top of a dresser and we didn't have very much room in our house. Upon walking out of my house one day I saw it sitting in our yard. They just left it in our yard when we were home. They didn't even knock. It was like they mistakenly thought our house was Rags and Wags. And on top of that it was dirty. So, I had to haul it to Rags. I was not a happy camper.
Well, now that I'm done...if you made it all the way through this wordy post, you probably think I am an aweful person because I let you in on my skeletons and it was a pretty negative blog, so I am sorry.
6 comments:
Oh Jen, I loved it. I can relate to you in so many ways. I have totally lied to Lucy about how her masterpieces have ended up in the garbage :) I hope that you would be willing to help me bury a dead body in my backyard....then I would know you really love me! Your skeletons are not really very scary. You should see mine.
I would bring my shovel Rach. :)
This isn't negative, it is HONEST and SO TRUE. I definitely hate service when it isn't MY idea, and receiving service can make me feel weak. Right now I'm staring at a giant pile of Z's watercolor paintings. They're all brown because she keeps painting with all of the colors until the paper turns brown. They are also all "rivers" according to her. I think it would be cool to scan your kid's art and make a little book out of it but seriously, these are ALL BROWN.
Oh crap Jen that was funny! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your post. :) Ever since I met you I have always thought you were genuine and truly kind and thoughtful. Don't worry, this won't be the first time Claire or Kate find something in the trash. I've had to not only lie about that but also burger king toys, legos, army men, you name it that I get sick of picking up so I toss them. Just wait till you try to go through their room to dejunk. I have since learned to do it while Wyatt is at school. Don't worry about the service thing, we can all relate at some point in time or another. All I have to say is ewww and rude on the changing table. I can't believe they just left it. I would have been peeved too.
Not so much awful as so similar to me. I think you described me perfectly! :) Sorry I haven't called back yet; I'm hoping to get to that soon! Love ya!
Oh, Jen you are so funny! And, by the way, Happy Birthday little sis!
Don't feel bad about Grandpa..he did it because he loves you. He did the same thing with me, too. One day I told him how much I liked his coat because it reminded me of him..so he took it off and gave it to me. It is a reminder of the kind of man he was.."the most important things in life aren't things."
And, didn't you know that you are supposed to lift up the top layer of garbage to hide all those art pieces? We can't possibly keep all of the "muddy river" (huh, Mandy? =) pictures our children give us. If we did, we would be eligible for the tv show "Hoarders".
One last thought, Jen, you remind me of a favorite quote..."A good friend will always bail you out of jail..but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn, that was fun!" You are a true friend (and sister). Hope your birthday rocks!
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