Purple Nail

When I came home from work today, Dallin was at the kitchen table with his drill aimed at his fingernail. I was like, "What the h*ll are you doing!" He then proceeded to tell me the events of his 12 hour day at the good ole sod farm with a perty purple nail. He had smashed it pretty hard in some kind of machinery. Immediately I thought I'm just glad he still has a finger. All the stories I've heard in my past about fingers and farm machinery are not happy tales. So, I told him that I thought he needed to go to the doctor but he stubbornly said no. He then told me to drill through his nail for him. I have never ran a drill in my life and here he was asking me to control the drill and go slow through his FINGERNAIL. After about 2 minutes of that and Dallin yelling at me impatiently I decided that drilling was not our answer. Dallin asked for some whiskey and a biting stick, but I had some morphine that I had stolen from the hospital when I was doing my clinicals. J/K I then went and got a paperclip and heated it in our flame-thrower until it was red, smokin' hot and sat it on his fingernail until it burned through his nail. Dallin jerked in pain when the heat got close enough to his skin. There was still no sign of blood coming out of his nail so he had to finish the rest off with a needle. Dallin screamed like a little girl.